August 30, 2012

The Cinecon Drinking Game

The Cinecon Classic Film Festival is a venerable Hollywood institution, celebrating its 48th year as the premiere destination for silent and classic film fans and collectors. Cinecon screens archival prints, rarely-seen or almost-lost features, shorts, and newsreels from the first half of the twentieth century.

So what better way than to celebrate such a significant cinematic event than with an old fashioned drinking game?

I've had the privilege of attending Cinecon the past two years, and within that short span of time, there are certain people, places and themes that recur. You're almost guaranteed, for example, to be treated to at least two Depression-era musicals, some screwball comedy pratfalls, some B-Western oaters, and tons of silent movies starring people you've barely (or never) heard of.

The experience of watching these lost cinema treasures is similar, too. Ensconced in the historic Egyptian theater all Labor Day weekend (Thursday thru Monday, all day long), there are certain survival skills one must adopt. Bring your own water. Maybe a couple baggies of snacks. A jacket. Stretch during breaks. And, be a pal: nudge your neighbor if he nods off.

Without further ado...The Cinecon Drinking Game

Familiar Faces

  • Wallace Beery? 
    • Take 1 drink.
  • John Qualen? 
    • Take 1 drink. 
    • With a Scandinavian accent? Take another drink.
  • Wallace Beery? 
    • Take 1 drink. 
  • Eugene Pallette? 
    • Take 1 drink.
    • Skinny Eugene Pallette? CHUG.
  • Jack Oakie?
    • Take 1 drink.
    • As a football player? Take another drink.
  • One of the great silent clowns--Chaplin, Keaton, Lloyd, Langdon--performs a death-defying stunt? 
    • Applaud wildly and then take a drink. 
  • Cowboy actor does a rope/horse trick?
    • Applaud wildly and then take a drink. 
  • William Wellman, Allan Dwan, or Henry Hathaway?
    • Take a big drink.

Give it Up For the Archives
  • Movies presented by the UCLA Film & Television Archive, The Eastman House, The Library of Congress, or MoMA?
    • Applaud wildly and toast these wonderful institutions.
  • Spot one of the @WarnerArchive guys?
    • Buy them a drink!

  • Politically incorrect title card?
    • Take 1 drink.
  • Blatant sexist/racist/whatever?
    • Take 2 drinks.
  • White kids performing in blackface?
    • CHUG. Because that is the worst. 

Audience Jollies
  • Silent film nudity?
    • All the guys take a drink.
  • Hunky actor takes his shirt off?
    • All the ladies take a drink.
  • Pre-code sexiness?
    • CHUG. Because everyone loves pre-code sexy. 
  • Someone sitting next to you falls asleep?
    • Take a drink. 
  • Audience boos a bad joke?
    • Take a drink.
  • Audience applauds for an actor and you don't know who they are?
    • Take a drink and feel shame. 

Additional/Optional Rules:
--take a drink whenever the title of the film has nothing to do with the plot

--if the film is set during Prohibition, whisper the speakeasy password ("Swordfish"), then take a drink from your flask

***And of course we here at SalesOnFilm urge you to drink responsibly. And, y'know, this works with popcorn and Coca-Cola, too.


  1. Whoa! Players must be too careful! this is a good idea if you want to spice up the night with your friends and beers. this game is like the drinkopoly board game...