May 10, 2010

Shunned Cinema: Supergirl

Shunned Cinema is a semi-regular (meaning whenever I come around to it) series where I liveblog a film that for some reason or another has been critically derided and generally has an aura of shame about it. These are the kids with lice. There's a whispered sense of banishment--stay away from them. I wanted to know why. Why the bad reps? So I watch the movies, update on Twitter, and post the sweded versions transcripts here. Shunned Cinema.

For some reason the other night I decided to watch Supergirl (Jeannot Szwarc, 1984) and liveblog the experience via Twitter. The motives for this decision remain unclear, even to me. Supergirl represents those films I ignored during my Peter O'Toole-a-Thon, mostly because I had heard it was terrible and the O'Toole participation was tantamount to an expositional dialogue-spewing, English-accented cameo for gravitas. Which it was. 
But I was kind of pleasantly surprised by the film. It was kind of delightfully innocent and campy and I didn't end up hating it at all. Its IMDb rating is unfairly low. Supergirl is completely watchable, even to someone like me who's not a huge fan of the fantasy genre and not intimately acquainted with the Superman family on film.  And the film is not without it's charms. In fact, I had so much unexpected fun liveblogging, I think whenever I come across a "bad" film, I'll liveblog it and post the sweded version here. 

Make sure you read the tweets from the bottom, or else the movie won't make any sense (not that it does anyway). Enjoy!

  1. Naaaaaoooooooooooo! This wind machine is messing up my haaaaair!
    Supergirl saves the world and everyone makes out at the end. Boy, that sure didn't feel like 125 minutes. Time flies when you're making fun.
  2. I love it when mentor figures inspire the protagonists from beyond the grave via voiceover. Quel fromage.
  3. See? I told ya. Wheeeee....!
    Oh, 1984 visual effects...

  4. You're gonna die soon. 
    99 minute mark--O'Toole returns!
  5. Kara is sent to the Phantom Zone! Oh, dang, shit just got real.
  6. Queen of crazytown.
    "I can make the sky rain coconuts with pinpoint accuracy, but I still can't control men's MINDS!" Okay, Dunaway is growing on me.
  7. Even if this movie is goofy and perhaps terrible, the photography is beautiful.

    I just realized Faye Dunaway is really doing a camp Hackman-as-Luthor meets Mommie Dearest with Carrot Top hair. Kind of awesome? I'm torn.
  9. Supergirl just tried to makeout with her own reflection. I wish O'Toole would come back.
  10. Runaway backhoe action sequence. Riveting.
  11. Holy crap, Jimmy Olson is like a young, skinny Dan Dreiberg.
  12. Peter Cook sounds a whole lot like Alan Rickman in this.
  13. "Golly, being a Supergirl sure is super!"
    Okay, this kind of gee-whiz girl power earnestness is starting to win me over.
  14. Coincidences, ahoy! The villainess' boyfriend works at Kara's girl's school and her new roommate is Lois Lane's kid sister!
  15. Faye Dunaway looks like a Restoration-era drag queen.
  16. Flying montage.
  17. Does everyone in Argo City have exquisite piercing blue eyes? Or maybe this is a characteristic of everyone in "Inner Space."
  18. [Note: Kara may be stupid in Argo City but she's a genius on Earth, the same way that she and Superman have powers and stuff...something to do with the yellow sun of Earth? Or something? Anyway, she gets smarter.]
    8 and a half minutes in and Kara's already almost killed her entire civilization. What a dolt.
  19. 3 and a half minutes in, Peter O'Toole appears. The reasons for watching become increasingly clear and yet, still inexcusable.
  20. IMDb informs me the opening credits alone cost $1 million dollar [sic]. They look like a screensaver.
  21. Well, it's 12:17am, time to start liveblogging "Supergirl" ( Why? God only knows.

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